Each of us have thoughts where we could feel sorrowful or complain. We also have things for which we can be thankful. If we learn to deliberately choose to think on those things for which we are thankful, we can turn our lives around.
Philippians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
There are times when your husband or wife or friend does trifle things which annoy you. As you think on the grievances, you puff up and sometimes strike out.
If you will pray, asking God for help, and also deliberately think of things whereby your husband or wife or friend did things that caused you to rejoice, the grievances often fly away, disappearing.
Devils often attack by bringing negative thoughts to our minds. Our flesh sometimes wallows in those thoughts and things get much worse. And there is no good thing in our flesh, says Paul. (Romans 7 )
We, who have the power of the Holy Spirit of Jesus living in us, have in HIM a great power for good toward ourselves and toward others also if we will live in HIS power.
Galatians 5:15-16 But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another. This I say then, Walk in the Spirit (that which God brings to your mind), and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
It is not that we act in a phony way. But there are real things that other person has done for us which we can think on, blessings from God by that other person.
Learn to think on those things, especially when you want to strike out.
And above all, pray, asking God to help you in the midst of the attacks, for God will help you when you desire help.
*****
I Thessalonians 5:18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
This does not mean we are thankful for the evil ... rather we are thankful because we know the power of God to turn the evil for good in our lives. And we call on God to turn this around. And also we ask God to create in us a clean heart and renew a right spirit within us. Psalm 51:10
***
Colossians 4:2 Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving;
***
The works of our own flesh (and devils) are to strive, debate, fret.
But the works of the Spirit, when we have the Spirit of Jesus in us are the opposite from the works of the flesh.
19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
We crucify our own flesh each time we choose to go in the way of the Spirit when it is brought to our attention in the conflict. Or we crucify our flesh also when we turn to God in the midst of the strife and say, "God help me! Don't let me say that! Don't let me do that!"
Galatians 5:17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other:
We, who belong to God, can choose between the Spirit and the flesh and we can deliberately go in the way of the Spirit of Jesus when strife is upon us.
We turn everything around by choosing to walk in the way shown us by Spirit.
***
Peter tells us to be found at the coming of Jesus, "in peace" , without spot and blameless. II Peter 3:14
Since we do not know the day or the hour Jesus will return, this requires that we choose to do that which allows us to live continually in peace, without spot and blameless.
We can do this when we understand we are to continually live, through God's power and HIS Word, choosing to walk in the Spirit of God and choosing to keep our own flesh crucified by The Word.
But we must not be phony. There is evil. We must not deny evil. We simply avoid being around evil when possible.
It is critical for us to choose to do the following for you cannot live in peace when you keep company with people who are contrary to the way of God:
II John 2
8 Look to yourselves, that we lose not those things which we have wrought, but that we receive a full reward.
9 Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son.
10 If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: (don't wish him well)
11 For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.
9 Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son.
10 If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: (don't wish him well)
11 For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.
***
I have an acquaintance that I care very much for. But she has shown she will not obey specific scripture though she attends a church group. I have shared truth from Bible with her multiple times. She has rejected that truth and has continued in her own preferences which are opposite from Bible.
The Spirit of God said this to me: "When she comes to you saying that she has done something because of a specific scripture, pay attention."
Until I see this in her, I just avoid her. Doing what the apostle Paul says as follows:
She attends a Catholic church.
I received extensive teaching from God concerning idolatry and worshipping of idols which I recorded on Podcasts and wrote on our blog, Jesus Ministries Exhortations.
I sent the writing to her by US Mail. (We do not live in same city.)
I didn't hear from her for 1 1/2 years. I did not try to communicate with her nor she with me.
Then recently she sent me an email. She wrote no words but sent copies of animal pictures. By this I knew she wanted to resume communication with me, but in a secular way. I did not open her email for I did not want to be enticed toward her by animal photos. I did not respond in any way. I believe I've heard what to do in her case, as cited above.
Of course, I still care about her, especially for her soul, but I know we do not help the soul by our flesh. We do what God has told us to do and keep doing that.
I cannot live in peace with those who attend church and disobey the Bible. I can only live in peace by coming away from them.
***
What if you are married to an unbeliever? Paul says:
I Corinthians 7
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
If the unbeliever is "pleased" to dwell with the believer, continue in the relationship. If the unbeliever tries to attack the Word of God, which believer lives by, and constantly fusses over the Bible, that is another matter.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
I would not recommend that you depart from the unbeliever but rather let that unbeliever depart.
Certainly these cases take much prayer and understanding from the Holy Spirit of Jesus who lives in us.
*****